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Pack Outing

Yesterday we finally got to visit with our packmates again for the first time in what feels like forever! Been so distracted and busy, and all had conflicting schedules so we just kept pushing back visiting again. But the wait was worth it, I love these critters so much. We went to visit Kitty's territory and explore a nearby park. It was gorgeous and such a fun, calming experience. We got to be critters in the woods, there were very little people, and I got to teach them a bit about quadrobics (we've been fixated on quadrobics since the last blog lol,) which was super fun and affirming.

I got to help Kitty take their first testosterone shot as well, and heard my packmates sing together. Kitty gifted us kandi necklaces, ours has a chew toy and I love it so much! Was chewing it all through the woods. Got to carpool with Wolf and talk for a couple hours which was super refreshing too, hoping to see them again much sooner this next time :)

Back to the Basics

As we prepare to move out of our parent's house, we've been trying to confront the insane fear & anxiety we've developed within the past 1-2 years. Or at least focusing on what exactly is wrong, reassuring ourselves, and trying to gain more confidence. Being transspecies is a very dear thing to us, just as much as being queer or neurodivergent (given they all effect each other that makes sense but besides the point,) and being able to express this identity outwards and see a bit of ourselves in the mirror is something important to us.

We have been terrified of being assaulted, whether because of people who are directly targeting us, or random/hate crimes. Wearing a tail out, let alone things like paws, ears, snout, etc. do not help these unfortunately justified anxieties. However, my ideal end goal is to look and act how I want despite that truth & fear. The anxiety is overwhelming but I want our passions to be stronger, even if people with hate in their hearts take it unto themselves to try to hurt us in one way or another.

Something that has been helping me welcome this thought process is seeing the younger generation of alterhumans (and generally just alterhumans who are proudly so in public/show their face/ etc.) on TikTok. TikTok is TikTok - there's always going to be hate and misinformation around everything, especially fringe or niche groups. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't irritated about these young therians spreading incorrect definitions and circulating the same gatekeepy tendencies we saw in earlier therian communities from 5-10 years ago. I hope anyone who ends up caring enough educates themselves down the road. But seeing these critters so passionate and proud to be who they are really warms my heart.

All this to say, we've been inspired to return to 'the basics' of our alterhumanity. Meditating to banish the human thoughts, quadrobics, vocalizations, etc. We've always done these casually, but it's been quite a while since we've focused on them. Quadrobics is incredibly species affirming to me personally. I've been doing them daily already, but just casually here and there. Now I am trying to do them daily with proper stretching and for longer, so far for 10-30 minutes in the mornings. I know I'll need rest days, but just kind of winging it right now schedule wise.

Proper vocalization is something I personally (as in Coyote) have been avoiding. I am the main fronter and pretty masculine/neutral presenting. I used to be able to do very accurate coyote yips and howls! When we were younger. Our voice is deeper now, and the only thing I dislike about that is not being able to do high pitched vocalizations. Species dysphoria drove me away from even trying for years. Luckily we have a very supportive handler, and them + the general inspiration have let me feel okay attempting again. Wouldn't you know it, I'm not even as bad as I thought it would be! Still can't do high pitched howls, but working on it. I'm very happy with my growling and yips. Practice will make perfect.

Just wanted to get these thoughts out, not an organized post :P

Fursuit Outing with Friend & Owner

Walked with Owner